Introduction to the TO8

The purpose of this site is to bring the techniques of the TO8 to a wider audience

What began as a 'thought experiment' has turned into a genuine method for finding out who we are.

People in widespread cultures are finding that their traditional methods of thinking about themselves are not helping them make good relationships.

The TO8 is a fresh set of culture-independent tools in the understanding of how and why we make the relationships we do.

The TO8 was a spontaneous creation of a poet and scientist who, by delving into the reasons why such a method should work has found a standpoint to examine the continuing story of human society.

About the author

Even Iggy Pop Loves Gardening

'Let's take a look', I said. And I looked at the paper she slid on my desk. On it were listed the features of a man: such and such a height, weight, complexion, age, his sporting prowess, his loves and hates, his desires for a family, his job that could really take him places, his little bit of private income, his belief system and the rest.

It seemed to me that there were a few things missing. I saw nothing about his kindness or charitableness, his problem solving capabilities, creativity, what he had set out to see and do and how far he had got along this road, nor did I see much about how he viewed the passing of time or his private genuine take on the meaning of life. But I said what I was expected to say. 'He seems very nice.'

She laughed. 'Look, he loves dogs and walks in the country. He loves curling up with a good book and going to the theatre, but he wouldn't say no to a fast car or spending all night dancing. He cooks. He loves kids.'

I doubt and I question for a living but that still does not prepare me for the self-delusion I witness even among those I love dearly.

My friend, let us call her Sheila, had reluctantly signed up with a dating agency. She had had a very nice boyfriend for some years but he moved out on her one day, and when Sheila surrounded herself with her friends trying to overcome the shock - it had come out of the blue, or so she said, she realised that she had been falling behind in the date race. While Sheila had been cosying up to man she had professed to love not so long ago, dating had become a fashion accessory. She joined the craze. She speed-dated, she blind-dated, she cross-dated, she 'sexed-in-the-city' until finally she slapped a month's salary into the hands of an apparently exclusive agency and waited for Mr. Right to call.

'I didn't know you liked dogs.' I said.

She made an apologetic face. 'Yeah, some dogs.'

'I recall how you can never suspend your disbelief in a theatre enough to like it.'

'I had just been to lot of bad plays, then. I like theatre.'

'A piece of theatre or The Theatre? It's an important difference.'

'Why are you being so challenging? We are talking about him, Mr. Right, right, not about me.'

'Is that how it seems?'

She was defensive, because she saw what I was driving at. 'Why?'

'Could it be that you've set yourself up for just this Mr. Right? Think about it. How many people would say 'no' to walks in the country or to rollicking with a new puppy or to fine wines and good food or to the highest and best that culture has to offer, or to romantic candle-lit dinners for two, or to spontaneous weekend honeymoons in country farms? Tell me, out of all the individuals who have filled out the same form you filled out, and whatever else they also wanted from a partner, how many would say they hate all these things? Even if there were a few who did out of cynicism and even shame for what they were doing, would they also want someone who thought the same? You know, even Iggy Pop loves gardening.'

Sheila's eyes started to glisten but I was not ashamed that my rhetoric had got away from me. I know Sheila, and I know she expects precisely this. That is why she brought Mr. Right to me in the first place.

Sheila recovered herself. 'Well, this guy might be just like me then,' she said. 'He does what's expected to get the date, knowing he can prove himself afterwards.'

'So you did the same?'

'Yes, in a way. There's a ritual to dating. Everyone knows that.'

'Well why do you expect this guy to be like you? He's covering himself up with standard replies. Why do think that even his weight and height are true? You know there are spectators at Forest Lawns who wander about dressed in whites and tennis shoes carrying tennis rackets.'

Sheila's eyes started to glisten again. 'I have to start from somewhere.'

'Yes, but a self-appraisal isn't necessarily a fair appraisal of self. You need other tools to find out what people are like. Have you ever read my book?'

'No.'

'Read the introduction,' I said and slid a copy over to her.

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